end of school

I am currently finishing my (hopefully) last essay ever in University.

Hopefully I don't fail any classes ( I do worry though) because I have mentally checked out.

  • Current Music


Ice convinced my Alex to bleach his hair 9 times in a week... He had to cut a whole lot off and he's blond-ish...

He was gonna propose this weekend but some unforseen costs means he can't buy a ring... fml

hope you all have a better V-day.

Art history exam tomorrow morning. 8 30 am is just cruel. wish me luck
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    some crap


My morning has sucked so far. I slpped on stairs this morning, falling hard on my ass, and spilling my entire (unopened) coffee down my leg. So I am coffeeless and have a very sore bruised ass. I want my coffee! I'd be fine as long as I still had my coffee.
Hope your morning is better then mine.
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    stupid first years talking stupid-like.

(no subject)

So I figure I have put off making a post long enough now.

All in all I'm well. My lovely boyfriend, Alex, has been soooooo accomidating throughout this bus strike (more about that later).. He continues to spoil me rotten. Just this past weekend he brought me a laptop which he has spent the last few weeks making specifically for me with the parts from two doomed (broken) computers. See he works for Geek Squad in a Best Buy store, and he's got 44 different certifications in the IT fields. I am soooooo lucky to have such a kind, brilliant and fucking sexy boyfriend.

Feburary 26th I go in to have my wisdom teeth removed... all of them. I will thankfully be knocked out, they say I have a small jaw so my major nerves are close to the roots. I am glad to have them out. I'm usually really good with pain so I'm not too worried.

I am also enjoying my classes this semester except for the calculus. I am taking Criminal Behaviour ( a psychology course), Sensory Processes (also psych), Survey of the Roman Republic, and Calculus.

Now that I have made it clear I don't ONLY complain on here, I will now complain lol.

OC Transpo is still on strike, making a grand total of (count 'em) 49 days. I won't explain it all to you, so look it up if you're interested. This is causing me great stress as I no longer have my life, I'm completely dependant on my mother for lifts to school. This meaning I am waking at 4 30 am and make it to campus by 6 45 am, and do not leave till 2 30 or 3pm. I can not work because I can not get downtown, so I have no money. Alex is spending a fortune to cab from Gatineau to my home in Kanata. I can't make it to appointments or to the doctors on my own and should mom be sick I'm stuck at home.

Furthermore, IT'S REALLY FRELLING COLD OUT!!! - 21 degrees Celcius today! WTF! I'm seriously considering hibernating or migrating for the January through to April. If I were a stronger willed individual I'd  even consider giving up cigarettes. I am not. = P

Well. I think this is enough.


  • Current Mood
    cold cold

Getting Ready for Alex's birthday party.

So I am very sore and ticked off atm. I just carried 2 cakes, 2 pizzas, 2 two litre bottles of pop, 3 bags of chips and a few items from walmart from the centrum to my house because not a cab company in the west end would pick up their phones. God Damnit.
But I am home. No rest for the wicked.

Oh and my mother got into the second car accident this winter season. She wasn't hurt, though one lady was, nor was it her own fault.
This bus  strike is such a pain!

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    the heater in the house

Damned SSRIs

I went to my psychologist this thursday.
I asked her if she would take me off the Paxil, as it was making me gain alot of weight. So she did, and told me to take one pill every second day for about a week to ween me off. Well, that is what I am doing and I am still in withdrawl!

For those of you who have no idea what withdrawl feels like, it's basically like waking up still drunk with a hangover. Woozy, nausia, migrane, and emotional, plus faintness, and the inability to stand still without stumbling, think, or to form thoughts into sentences.
These last symptoms got me denied access to the Integration Festival, which I was looking forward to, because I seemed to be very drunk. Enought about that...

Since I am not feeling very well, I have nothing to do. I decided to take photos of every pair of shoes I own (minus strictly functional shoes, like running shoes and snow boots) so that I may picture them here for your enjoyment.

I am stealing this idea from Meghan[info]deleriumd,  who posted a different t-shirt of hers everyday for a couple weeks. I will just post them all today though as I am bad at maintaining a blog.

The photos are not great, as the sunlight through my window wasn't being kind, so the colours aren't all that accurate, and my camera picks up dust and dirt too well, and as I wear the shoes alot, many of them are dirty. Not to mention I took the photos on my bed, which in hindsight was unwise, as my sheets are black, and so are most of my shoes. 

Oh yes, I have very small feet, about a size six, so they the shoes are as small as they look.


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  • Current Mood
    nauseated nauseated

Catharsis of the Cladestine Cult Calamity.

I was surfing the net today after eating my lunch. I have a bad habit of chewing on my fingernails, which is what I was doing. At some point, I realised that something tiny and solid was in my mouth. I figured I had bitten through my nail, however, the fingernail was completely intact and there was a sharp ledge on my front tooth.
A large bit of my front, lower incisor literally crumbled away from the rest of my tooth.
It’s not too bad. For the most part, the break is inside the mouth, not in the front of the tooth. Also there is only a little sensitivity, so it’s can’t be too near a nerve. Still, having this sharp bit against my tongue is rather uncomfortable, and I’m afraid to eat or brush my teeth, for fear that I will break the rest of the tooth, or be crippled in pain. My jaw is also beginning to hurt, and I have developed a minor whistle, so I had to cancel my shift at work.

I kind of went into shock. I also thought, with a bit of dread that I would have to go to the dentist to have it fixed. After rationalising that I could not in fact, avoid this fate,, I called my mother, got the number to the Hazeldean Dental Clinic, and made an appointment for tomorrow morning at 11:40.

The receptionist also added, with a bit of a snicker, “Oh, we haven’t seen you in a couple years.” And with good fucking reason!
Over the last 8 years I have made numerous trips to the dentist. I have thin enamel and brittle teeth, so breaks and cavities are frequent despite my oral hygiene. Over this time, a bitter taste has formed in my mouth (no pun intended) for oral health professionals.


I'll briefly explain my utter disgust in dentists and oral hygienists.

First off, I am always being told that I have gingivitis, which I can't seem to shake. They told me they would give me two antiseptic treatments two weeks apart, and it would be covered by insurance.

After the second treatment they said, oh yeah you still need another (which meant I missed yet another day of class during midterm time. So I told them that I could not, and that I wasn't available for at least a month. They tried to tell me that I would need even more if I waited that long. So I said fuck it. A week later we found out neither of the first two applications were covered and they were 200$ each.

Second, prior to this (as I never went back after the last treatment) the dentist started to grind down a "shallow" cavity without any freezing, saying it wouldn't hurt because it didn’t get near the nerve. Well despite the virtual lake I was crying, she didn't offer any freezing till I screamed at her demanding it.

Yet another time, I went for x-rays to determine where another cavity was, and the hygienist wrote down that I had two cavities, when there was just one. The dentist started the drill saying she'd start one side and then go to the next till I stopped her and told her I needed just one. THEN is when she checked for herself and told me I was right and only needed one. With no apology I may add, for her own neglect to check to see for herself in the beginning.


It just seems that I every time I go I am treated incredibly poor, and that they are on a ceaseless attempt to make me pay for services I don't need.

The hygienists, with one exception, are very rude.

So I stopped going, since I am always cause tons of pain, or constant harassment.

Ok, that is not a brief explanation but I am basically afraid to return.

Because of my day off now, I started to read Emily Bronte's Wurthering Heights. And so far I like it.
In other news, I was taken shopping by my Aunt Judy, who was visiting from Totenham, on saturday. She bought me two shirts, a very cool blazer thing, charcoal plaid dress pants, and an amazing pair of plum coloured patent heels. On top of that, she gave me 50$.
Since she doesn't have her own children, she tends to dote on my sister and I, and who am I to refuse?

I miss Kim.


what the fuck is wrong with you people?

Why is it that girls who look like me are either considered insane, gay, or one of the guys.
Yes, I realize that I don’t have a 26 inch waist, I have curves. I know my makeup resembles that of black metal bands and sometimes Marilyn Manson. I have a style which is different, more intense, then most of the “goth” girls around here.

How come no one but me and my girlfriends think the look is attractive?

Has originality become something to fear…?
If that is the case, then every gothic person (or average person) in Ottawa has become the people they “strive” not to be. They end up being the boring pigs that they always think they are avoiding.
Get to know me.

Outside of the makeup and the clothing, I am actually a very smart person.

I am logical and know about subjects that most people don’t.
I am a psych major for Christ sake. I am not stupid.
To about 90% of the people around here (and I am referring to the goth community) I am the ugly duckling.
I am far from ugly.

What the fuck is going on with you people?
How is it that someone like me is overlooked?
You people suck.
I am sick of hearing about the girls you like, who are thin with no personality or brains, or a lick of adventurousness or originality in their fucking bones.

I am so sick of hearing the people who I have a mild interest in, going for the fucking dumb (as shit) “average” girls.
You are no more original than any other goth.
Why is confidence in the way you look (from a female) a bad thing?

If I were a guy, I would have all the girls in our bar, trying to go home with me… But because I am a girl with confidence and a unique sense of style, I am just weird.

I am so sick of people. The groups I thought I fit into are just as bad as the groups in highschool. I am treated like a joke now. And those who do bother to get to know me, think of me as one of the guys.

When will a man I like, ever see past the makeup and the façade, and like me for the FREAK I am?

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    predatory predatory

What does the contents on my underpants have to do with national security?

So I've got a pretty nice school year comming up.
I'm not crazy about one of the classes but it's required and likely to be helpful, but very difficult. Advance Design and Analysis in Psychology... boring .
But heres what the schedual looks like.

Starting in September going till December

Monday: - 8:35 am - 9:55 am Advance Design and Analysis
                - 6:05 pm - 8:55 pm Biomechanics and Society

Tuesday: - 4:05 pm - 5:25 pm Language Processing and the Brain
Wednesday: - 8:35 am - 9:55 am Advance Design and Analysis

Thursday: - 4:05 pm - 5:25 pm Language Processing and the Brain
                   - 6:05 pm - 8:55 pm The Psychology of Motivation and Emotion

Friday: - NO CLASS woot!

Then in January through till April

Monday - 8:35 am - 9:55 am Advance Design and Analysis
               -10:05 am - 11:25 am Sensory Perception

Tuesday: - NO CLASS

Wednesday: - 8:35 am - 9:55 am Advance Design and Analysis
                        -10:05 am - 11:25 am Sensory Perception

Thursday: - NO CLASS

Friday: - Roman Civilization
             - Criminal Behaviour (can't remember the times hehe)

I am Very happy about the courses. I'm especially excited about  about the Roman Civilization and Language Processing.
Yay! It will be a busy year though, and I need to bring my GPA up to 9.0 so I can get into my honours seminar.
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    chipper chipper